


a sigh

by nycthemeron



Category: Twosetviolin
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Bittersweet Ending, Car Accidents, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Crying, Eddy Chen Needs A Hug, Flowers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Headstones - Freeform, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Its just all angst, M/M, Memories, Sad Ending, as always lmao, graveyards, he doesnt get one this time, lapslock, references to nature again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-08 16:34:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18627049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nycthemeron/pseuds/nycthemeron
Summary: "i didnt think youd still be here.""eddy chen, its gonna take more than a stupid mistake to get rid of me."eddy knows that they can overcome anything, that they will be by each others side for a long time.





	a sigh

**Author's Note:**

> i had just got home after watching avengers endgame and needed to channel my energy into something productive. i was incredibly sad. so heres this.
> 
> i wrote this while listening to "un sospiro" by liszt, which i recommend you listen to while reading.  
> heres the specfic version i listened to on youtube:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L42sbnQxEmw&list=PL4za80NKaJjCd5Pn8qmVx-uf62LFf8G5U&index=2&t=0s

eddy stands at the gates, flowers in hand. walking across this threshold will solidify everything he fears, but this is unavoidable. the past has held him hostage for far too long, and now he needs to take a step in the right direction. he needs to face him, after all this time. he can barely even believe he stands at these gates, seen as how he is falling apart at the seams.

 

 

_glowing, orange beams of afternoon light stream in through the windows, illuminating the desks neatly kept in rows. eddy could see tiny particles of dust floating through the brightened air, all of it flowing, moving them about in a graceful manner. if math tutoring was not the goal of him being here, he would have been happy to be standing in this classroom._

  
_eddy notices a boy sitting one desk over from one of the tall windows, absorbing the warmth, radiating it back outwards softly. his leans his head into his own hand, eyes closed, clearly relaxed. his fingertips are hidden in the dark hair by his ears, and the boy nearly looks like an angel with the way the light forms a halo on his hair._

  
_eddy takes a seat at the desk next to the boy, releasing an exhausted sigh, and sets his backpack and violin case on the ground. he slumps in his chair, closing his eyes, wanting to go home and rest already._

  
_he opens them again a moment later, looks over at the boy again, who now seems to be more alive now that eddy had taken a seat next to him. something glints near the boys feet, and when he looks at it, he finds that the light had reflected off the metallic bordering of another violin case._

  
_eddy sits upright in his seat and towards the boy, asking excitedly, "you play violin too?"_

  
_the boy jumps, startled by the sudden question, but answers nonetheless, "yeah, why?_

  
_eddy bends over, leaning to the ground and picks up his own case. "i play too!"_

_the other boy sits up straighter, looks surprised as he asks, "really? do you play in an orchestra?"_

_eddy nods, and gives the name of the youth orchestra he plays for._

_"what? i play in the same one," the boy replies, "ive never seen you there before."_

_"maybe youre just not good with faces?"_

_"maybe. whats your name?"_

_"eddy."_

_"my names brett."_

 

 

  
eddy closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. he takes a step forward, now within the confinements of the gated area.

  
the wind blows harshly against his back, whistles in his ears, urging him forwards again. so he takes another step forwards, and another.

he continues to listen to the wind as he walks, slow so he can hear it well.

 

 

  
_they walk home side by side, along the sidewalk they both know like the backs of their hands. they have time to spare before they truly do have to part ways, but they decide to spend it by taking their time like this._

  
_the sky is overcast, the sun is barely peeking through. storm season is soon, everyone can feel it coming, but times like this are eerily peaceful._

  
_the wind blows at their backs, rustles their hair and school uniforms, pushes eddy forward just the slightest._

_"thats some wind," he says, suprised and confused at the same time._

_"yeah it is," brett agrees, the says, "my mother always says to stop talking when the wind blows. she says its the trees talking to each other, and you can hear them if youre quiet."_

_"huh," eddy says to himself._

 

 

  
he looks at the trees as the wind blows through them, wrapping around every leaf, pulling and pushing in such a way to create a sound like a soft wind chime. another tree prolongs its creaking as its entire weight shifts somewhat, and another one simply responds with a stronger rustle of leaves.

  
eddy looks at the ground and smiles, wonders if brett is speaking to him on the wind as well, if the whistling in his ears is just him, happy as usual.

  
eddy continues to walk, to listen to the trees talk around him, to his own feet crunching pebbles underneath them. he wonders how it can be so peaceful here, with it being in the middle of town. he changes his mind when he remembers that this is a place of peace, a place to rest.

 

 

  
_eddy opens the door to his apartment, finally calmed down, guilty after snapping at his friend so harshly. he looks to his left, sees brett sleeping on his couch. he had the intention of staying until eddy came back so they could finally clear everything up._

  
_he knows he must be tired, so he closes the door as quietly as he can, locks it as well. he turns and walks carefully towards his bedroom door, keeping an eye on brett to make sure he still sleeps._

_distracted by the task, eddy bumps his hip into a tall table near the wall, casing him to drop his keys, creating a sharp sound when they hit the floor._

_brett jumps awake, sitting up at the sudden sound, ever the light sleeper. he looks around the room, his eyes land on eddy, and his gaze immediately softens._

_"hey," eddy says, a forced smile on his face, frozen in place._

_"hey," brett replies simply._

_the smile on eddys face falls rapidly, his shoulders slouch, and brett can see guilt and remorse written into the lines of his face and the tension in his body._

_"im sorry about what i said earlier," eddy says, looking back and forth between the ground and brett, "i didnt mean what i said and i never should have said it."_

_brett smiles softly at him, openly, "its okay, i forgive you. why were you so upset in the first place, though?"_

_eddy knows the amount of times brett has forgiven him for his stupid mistakes is innumerable, and that is the reason he appreciates him so much. brett forgives him, knows that he only does things like that when he is at his worst, and lets him grow and change. brett is one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and he sometimes is overjoyed knowing that brett continues to choose him._

_"i didnt think youd still be here."_

_"eddy chen, its gonna take more than a stupid mistake to get rid of me."_

_eddy knows that they can overcome anything, that they will be by each others side for a long time._

 

 

 

eddy lessens his pace as he approaches his destination, weaving slowly through other headstones to get to his.

he comes to halt, standing at the end of the grave, and turns to face the headstone. the one thing he never wanted to read, never wanted to acknowledge. he instantly feels his eyes water as he looks over the words, as he skims over the hourglass with wings carved into the stone slab.

""here lies brett yang', huh?" eddy sighs.

a long silence follows, and eddy hates it.

"i brought these for you," eddy says, revealing the bouquet of daffodils and daisies in his hand, "they symbolize innocence... peace... love..."

eddy crouches down and places the bouquet on his grave, decides to sit on the grass as well.

"we won the court case, by the way," eddy says offhandedly, "against the guy who hit us in that car crash? i did everything to make sure he payed for it."

eddy plays with the grass at his fingertips, weaving between his fingers. he lets the tears roll down his face, lets himself sob and shake.

"i miss you," he says, choking on sobs in between, "i miss you so much. everything is so different without you around. i wish... i wish i could've done more."

he rubs the tears from his cheeks and sniffles, a useless action since he only cries more.

"sometimes i wish it had been me, you know. i would give anything for it to be me, or to see you again, just... not this."

eddy presses his hands against his eyes, shoulders shaking, breath quickening. he gasps for breath when he forgets to breathe, wipes his eyes again.

"i dont know what to do anymore," he cries, "i dont want to move on without you."

"we were supposed to be in this together, you know? i was always supposed to be by your side, and youd be by mine. we were gonna be friends until we grew old."

he looks at the hourglass with wings again, and everytime he sees it, it slaps him in the face.

"and i know what you would say. that when i remember you... all the memories we shared... youd want it to be in celebration. that i should remember everything weve done and not what ive lost. that you would want me to continue on and live happily, remember you for who you are."

_but i dont want to._

_i cant._

 

and the wind blows, the sun sets, the world turns.

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know what you thought. i really do appreciate any feedback.
> 
> <3


End file.
